Wednesday, March 19, 2008

Am I a whiner?

I don't really want to hear a yes to this but lately I have been feeling like one. You know how some people go about life thinking one day when this happens I'll be happy or the day that happens I'll be happy. I absolutely don't want to be one of those, I want to enjoy life with its imperfections. Though i find myself perpetually wishing for something to happen so I can feel better. I constantly feel that knot tightening in my head and wishing for something to go right that would make us happy.
I find myself getting bitter, especially with P. I nag.. a lot. And worst of all, I loose my patience with T. Instead of handling him patiently, I get angry and I force him to do something which obviously makes him cry. I feel miserable after that. I know this is going nowhere. What if it takes a lifetime for things to turn right or what if they never do? I don't want to turn my life into hell and along with that T's too. I pray for strength to tide over all this.

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