My birthday last year was sadly marked by this and now P's birthday was marked by the attack on posh Mumbai. I am shocked, sad and angry. I don't claim to be very well- informed on politics or the great issues facing this world .. All I have are these questions...

Why did the top cops who could lead the operation with their strategic planning, have to go and get killed in the encounter? What were they thinking? How does this work, aren't there rules for such seniors to handle such situations from the back with their brains .. instead of making martyrs of themselves?

Has the present Indian government been too soft on terrorists? Should Afzal have been hung long ago?Is it time for BJP to come to power and what has our country come to that the hateful BJP hardliners seem to be the only way to go?

What's wrong with all these people? Why can't we all WAKE UP and change the world? What is a Hindu.. a Muslim... people divided for a God no one has seen?

Will Obama save the world?

Last of all...

Is Raj Thackery alright with north India forces coming to his beloved Mumbai's rescue?
Stop dividing us.

Happy thoughts..

... After this lovely picnic.. we hadn't had enough of each other and followed Chandu and others to her home for a game of Taboo.. The hour that we had decided to leave after, flew unnoticed into another.. and we realized we had to head home to T who was finally up after a long nap. Both P and I didn't feel like leaving the party and I thought of asking everyone to move the party to our place. But Chandu and her Boy had made preparations for dinner and everyone was having such a good time that I hesitated. The darlings that these people are, they themselves offered to move the party to our place.. carried the uncooked chicken and the beer and the game and had a lovely impromptu dinner at our place.. This is such a lovely change from the stuck-up, hung-up people we have always been around..



.. Tomorrow is P's birthday. I wanted to do something extra special to snap us out of the complicity that has set in our relationship.. And guess what.. everything is finally in place.. the surprises unfold tomorrow.. so wait till then to read about it all..

T's curiosity..

never seems to end these days.. Every new thing, from a tiny screw on the side of his cot to pictures of strange animals in his baby books is subjected to curios inspection followed by "ee kaa hai mamma?" (what is this mamma?)..
I was sure this question will pop up sooner or later but it came much sooner than later..
The latest this morning on the breakfast table was..
T: "ee ka hai mamma?" pointing to the ugly little pimple popping on the side of my nose :(
Me: "ummm... mamma oui hua" (mamma's hurt here)
T: "Mamma face pe 1...2...3... 4... 5... balls" helpfully counting the baffling occurrence of pimples on my face ..
and making sure we start our day with a big laugh...

What does really happen to relationships?

The huge gap in expectations widens by the day. The time and urge to talk and sort it out weakens.
I am not cynical enough (as yet) to profess or admit that there is an expiry date to every relationship. To admit that every marriage eventually fizzles out in 2,3 or 4 years is to admit defeat. There has to be a reason and a solution. I believe that I am in control of my life but everything is so hazy right now. I don't know where to go from here.

I just hope I find some way out before this weight of disappointment crushes my optimism.

This is a tough post to write but I just read Chandni's post and felt terrible. It actually made my eyes water. Chandni's Boy and my P are out on a photography trip. P being away a couple of years ago used to make me feel the same way as Chandni does now. Infact I didn't even deal with it so well. I would miss P so much that anything other than a work realated trip would mean a flow blown fight and cost P a lot to make up for it. It's so different now.

He's been gone a day and all we've had since then are 3 conversations on the phone.. not a minute longer than the usual all's well.. no messages.. and oddly enough I haven't felt the need.
I have been happy with the time I finally have to myself.. I painted my nails.. took a longer bath than usual.. sorted my clothes.. caught an old favourite movie on TV. All was well till I read Chandni's blog and realized something was amiss..

Its probably nothing more than the general lack of time for myself.. with work and T and so much to do around the house, there's no room to miss P. Also, since P works from home a lot these days, I never go back home and have the house to myself, he is mostly there.. I think I crave that space. We see too much of each other. That is an odd sentence.. I'm sad for us.. I could have never thought of ending up like this a couple of years ago..and here I am.. not missing P and feeling misearable for it all the same ...

T was watching this on my laptop while I ate lunch.. he confidently kept pointing to the screen now and then and screaming out different alphabets.. the "double - oo" came before the "dee" .. so obviously he didn't know one from the other.. he just recognizes ABCD and then the rest of it he hums as a song..

Then suddenly he realized that I could see the screen too.. he turned around .. smirked.. and then started pointing out the "balloons"and "stars".. shapes that he really knows instead of the alphabets he was faking .. He already takes mommy for a fool.. :)

T's first pet..

is a lovely glass bowl with two gold fish gifted by G ma and Dadu. He loves it and wants to sit on the top of counter right next to the bowl. He screams "Hi fishy" right in the bowl and scares the poor fish. He desperately wants the fish to talk back or something so he's constantly blowing (more like spiting) in the bowl.

Last night we put the bowl on the dining table so he would eat properly and the fish were promptly rewarded by some left over soup. We saved them from the bits of bread just in time.

His favourite rhyme for now is ...

Machli jal ki naani hai...

jeeka uska paani hai..

haath.. dallllll..

bahaar.. mallll....

Ek monkey tha...

pakata phuta...
crakers tha.. green.. orange.. pink.. tha..
phir ka hua..
terrace pe gaya....
wow.. pretty...

I know it doesn't make much sense but it is the first story T has learnt to tell.. some of it from the stories we tell him and some of it his own.. :)
I'm sure there are many more to come..
Are they really supposed to be talking so soon and so much??? I surely won't be able to keep up with him at this pace..