I finally have a little blog roll of my own. This is a step to come back to my blog more often and not look for links in history to get to the blogs I like reading.. Looking forward to getting back in touch ...

For lost dreams..

I am ordinary and life is ordinary. Till not so long ago I thought differently. I, maybe like everyone else, thought I was meant to do achieve something great. I never knew or know now what that something great would be, but something I was just right for, I was meant for.
Life seems so mundane now, so meaningless. It seems such a waste. A waste of opportunities lost in utter ignorance. Lost because of the ignorant confidence of youth. Because of never being shown the mirror, because of never being made to understand reality till it bit. Because of a crazy, romantic belief that everything would always stay perfect. Because of the naive belief that the love of people who love me will always be there protecting me. Because of not knowing the right from the wrong, or that there is so much more than just right and wrong.
Because of not investing time and love on the right people. Because of not being able to know who were the right people. Because of always being afraid of being truthful and honest. Because of always trying to be someone other than what I was. Because of never getting to know who I really was.
Too late now??? No. How can it be? I am still me. A lot of time has passed but there's still so much more to go. There is a chance to find myself , to find the right people. Something great must still be waiting to be done. Something will fall in place sometime.. For lost dreams and undying hope....

So I'm blogging on a Monday morning.. strange.. but don't feel like budging from home today.. am still at the dinning table.. lingering over a late breakfast.. a really late one actually.. T is ready.. food is packed.. all set to get out .. other than me. I think the MNC trend of 2 days off in a week is so deeply ingrained in my system that if I work a weekend (like yesterday) my battery is just not charged to do another full week's work. It's funny that my body also responds to Monday only if I've had a 2 day break.
Another reason for such a late start to the day is the movie I saw with NC last night. She finally managed to get me to a movie in the festival thats on here. It was great watching a movie in the theater after ages but late night shows don't work for me... especially after a days work. Even at the most interesting parts of the film I caught myself wondering when i would get to my bed and get some sleep. The movie was something though.. Lady Chatterley.. based on the DH Lawrence book. I have never seen more nudity ever before. Ok.. More later.. maybe.. got to rush..

Finally some time off...

work and T and P and everything else... I've been quite miserable, don't know if its mental, physical or emotional or maybe a little bit of all these. It seems like I'm carrying a heavy load on my shoulders all the time. I am so tired.
There is something that has been weighing on my mind and maybe thats what is completely drained me. I don't want to talk about it. Please don't ask. Not even you NC. But it's huge and it's something I don't want to do but I'm doing only to save my marriage. It's killing me. P is not really providing the kind of support or comfort I expect from him. Please tell me you support me on my decision and have complete faith in my ability to do the right thing.