Long .. Completely Random Rant...

And I thought the blog maybe gone by now due to disuse but glad it hasn't. You know how something happens in the day and you think this would make an interesting post and string a few sentences or a title in your head and then blog about it as soon as you can so you can share it with the world or in my case more like get it out of your system and vent out the steam.
Well I haven't even had the time to sit back and notice whats happening in or around my world and that is why i have been away for soooo long. I wonder if someone still comes back looking for a new post or if i'm still on someone's feed?? Anyway... so of course a lot is going on. Its like I've jumped in a crazy torrent of water and its just carrying me away at an insane momentum and i'm just going along at this unbelievable pace, almost like sleep walking through it in a daze.
Basically I have bitten off more than i can chew and just testing my limits to how far I can go on like this. But honestly, I think I desperately need better .. much better time management skills..

About T, oh I wish I would have written about him regularly.. both to tell you how he's suddenly so much older in the last few months and to get lots of tips on handling these terrible terrible twos.. We celebrated his 2nd birthday about a month ago with a lovely (even though a little overcrowded and chaotic) party at home. He talks all grownup now and tries to string sentences in English , a change from mostly Hindi conversations we used to have with him. And hes learnt Nepali songs from the help and plenty of Bollywood too. His favourite thing at home is to dance in the little lobby at the centre of the house and sing improvised, mixed and then re-mixed songs and rhymes and bhajans.. He can be at this for hours. He is also more obsessed with airplanes and his little musical instruments than ever.
Other than that its just struggle to feed, to behave, to not throw things,etc ,etc.. which i'm hoping will go away sometime. I keep telling myself that its just a phase and because I see glimpses of my gentle sunny boy underneath all the horror... fingers crossed...
We are thinking about play schools but not very seriously yet, maybe by the end if the year..

Life is cluttered and scattered. I spend one week in every five weeks on campus for the management programme. The week spent there is so far away from real life back home that it seems imaginary or like a parallel life. There's a lot of studying.. long days full of lectures, followed by late evening assignment sessions and then some late night walks on campus and finally cups of green tea and conversation early into the morning. Then comes friday and the ritual student type partying with binge eating and drinking. The early morning flight back home on saturday is too short to cover the distance between the world that I leave behind and my reality that I'm so eager to embrace. To count a few blessings of the plenty that I have been bestowed with, my reality at home.. T and my pillar of strength P.. is so warm that it takes me a minute to forget all that I leave behind when I come home, and the parallel campus life.. I have found friends that I know are mine for life. They make it so much easier to handle my longing for home.
Work is going well. I am finally getting really interested and involved the way I wanted to. I think I'm getting obsessed with it. My thoughts have evolved a lot after some exposure to the management programme. The best part is that I can instantly recognize a mistake when I make one and that is such great learning. I finally have a clear vision atleast in terms of the current business.
The dream of building something of my own also seems real now, though I still dont know what its going to be or when its going to be. But whatever it is, its just a means to an end. And the end I'm very clear about. Though this post is anything but clear :)
I like to think of this cluttered, super fast phase of my life as a crazy rain storm. Once it ends, everything will fall in place and be all new and shiny and green. Its just really hard to explain to people around me and unreasonable to expect them to join me at the pace I'm going. So it gets lonely. Why some people have grown distant I understand but for some I don't. Just hoping that this will also fall in place when the storm blows over.. fingers crossed.. again .. :)

P.S: I am not reading the post for fear of deleting it instead of editing.. so bear with me..