f$*% them all...

This is what I said last night to P after the dinner with 'friends'. This was the first time I ever used the F word. I never ever swear. My knowledge of cuss words is extremely limited and I hardly ever go beyond calling someone 'a fool' even when I'm drunk. In fact I recall this one incident, when my sister who had this terrible habit of showing the middle finger irritated me so much that I attempted to show her the finger back. And silly ignorant me not knowing which finger to stick out, put out the wrong one. So what really happened to make me utter these forbidden words? I will try to describe it although the whole situation is extremely complex.
Actually to put it concisely, P has these two friends from donkey's years, almost a couple of decades now. One is extremely rich and the other is more like us. And to make it more complex, one of them is married to my ex best friend. So now before we got married they were all very thick. After we got married, I was not accepted into the group for various reasons and we drifted apart.

We got back in touch after a couple of years and started socialising again till the other friend got married to my ex-best friend. Now this foursome meets very often. One couple has a kid but totally believes in leaving him with the help at all times, the other couple does not have any. So obviously, we are the ones with most obligations and time constraints. And these people have never been understanding on anything that concerns P and me, so they have completely excluded us. We talk on the phone but we are never invited to any of their outings. We have felt extremely hurt on more than one occasions but this time they have really done it.

Yesterday when one of them called us to join them for dinner, we were sceptical but we went anyway. P and I are not sure and absolutely can't explain why we went but we did. We went to the dinner talking about how much we detest everyone of them but we still decided to have a good time.. eat, drink and be merry and not give a damn to them.

So these guys walked in together though they live quite far apart and one of them lives quite close to us. But this is normally how they arrange their pick ups. As soon as they sat down, this one man promptly ordered two drinks for himself and the other guy, completely ignoring P. The gesture, as we know him very well, was meant to send a message across to P that he is very thick with the other guy and P is not a part of it anymore. P and I ignored him and ordered a nice bottle of wine for ourselves.

The evening was not bad at all. P and I had a good time. Though these guys acted like total jerks but P & I just didn't give any heed to it. I was totally myself throughout the evening which was a nice change in their company. All the other times that I've met them, I've tried hard to be a part of the group and not do or say stuff that will make them judge me. But I had had enough, they are just not worth it and now that P doesn't really care about them, I don't have to either. So I enjoyed my food and drink, dressed the way I wanted to and said exactly what I thought about everything. It was a liberating experience. I also clearly put the message across that we know what they are up to. P and I are not blind to the neat exclusion game that some or all of them have been playing and we don't give two hoots to it.

On our way back, when P and I dissected the events of the evening, the only words that could truly express my sentiment was 'f$*% them all' .


Edited to add: The last post about letting go was also meant for the same group of people.