After a series of low days and some extremely low days, I feel better today.. Hope and optimism have woken up from the deep slumber that they had settled into for a while. Nothing specific happened to change anything but then nothing specific had happened to make me feel low either.
I guess the disastrous picnic of 26th had set off my mood and then my general negativity had taken over. I had drowned myself when I had the liberty and time, to delve on life's choices and where they've brought me. Everything seemed wrong and there seemed no way to make it better. The clouds have parted now fortunately and all's right with the world again. I realize that what is keeping me away from the life I want is only ME. I am the one stopping myself from being what I want and doing what I want. No I did not read a self help book but just used my head after a long time. Just hope I can remember this when I need to.

I think I need a list. During my student days and even my corporate job days, I always had a very specific list of goals for the year down to how much money I need to make and what new things to learn or new places to visit. Since I started working with my father, the career goals have been vague. And since T's birth, the goals have been about T sitting up by 6th month, crawling by 8th. I think coming up with a specific list will give my life some structure and a target to work towards. And I can just look at the list on gloomy days and hopefully tick somethings on it and feel better.