Domestic woes...

It might seem bizarre to start the year with a post on domestic help but if you agree with me on the topic you will realize how appropriate it is. Obviously a lot has happened since I last wrote, NC’s action packed visit, I turned 27 on the 27Th of last month and we all stepped into a new year.. but all that later.

First you need to know about a big disruption in my otherwise peaceful domestic life. My maids left. One of them was supposed to leave and I can’t say I was sorry about that but the other.. let’s say my woman Friday just left. Without any notice. She took a day off to celebrate Christmas and never came back. I found out later from my 1 year something old baby that..” didi shadi hoga..”… (Didi will get married).. so I was elated to find out that she had the decency to inform her ward … well… not really.

I admit I am completely dependent on my domestic help. Otherwise my life comes to a standstill. I have to have a perfectly clean house, washed clothes, no dirty dishes in the sink and home cooked food for every meal. I would make sure me and my family would have this even if it meant toiling through the night. I would fret and complain but I would get it done. But after the baby, domestic help does not only ensure having all of that done but is the only way that I can get to work every day.

So now when a maid leaves, I panic, I get a nervous attack because it could mean skipping work for a long time, once even a whole month, till appropriate help is found and trained and baby T gets adjusted to.

What prompted this post was not that I was deserted by my precious helpers a week or so ago but how P just doesn’t get it. His reaction at my panic attack was incredible. He thought I had lost it.. which I had but I believe I had a very valid reason to that.

Since that day he has been trying to tell me that I panic needlessly, since we found help soon after. What he doesn’t realize is that we were just plain lucky this time and we’ve seen much worse. He thinks I’m a freak to react the way I do.

In fact we got home after a long tiring day today and he realized that the water pump had been left on much longer than needed. Wastage of any sort and the prospect of paying huge electricity bills really pisses P off and he completely blew his top off at this.. almost screaming at the girls. I kept shushing him but to no avail. I really had another panic attack thinking they’d just get up any minute and walk off.. And again at seeing my face loose colour he told me to get a grip on myself. It astonishes and saddens me that he just doesn’t understand my situation.

I want to do a lot in life. That’s the person I am. I want to productively work and earn my living. I need to socialize. I need to read. I need to take care of my baby in the way I deem fit. I know people abroad bring up babies without help and there’s nothing wrong with that. But living where I live and knowing that I don’t have to be away from my baby even when I work and also that I don’t have to give up work to be with my baby, why should I not want it all. It’s not easy I know, but this is the only way it works for me. And to do it all I need good help. I don’t believe in letting the help bring up my baby for me as a lot of people do (not sure if they realize it though) but I do need another person to help me bring him up and work full time. I know I’m extremely lucky to have a family business and a set-up where I can take T with me to work everyday. But I want someone to watch him around the office, play with him and keep him occupied when I’m busy. To feed him lunch if I’m stuck in a meeting. It’s great to know that he’s just in the next room. I could have never dealt with the guilt that comes with leaving your baby home to go to work. I know every working mother feels it and it’s terrible. I quit my job to join this business precisely for this reason. And now I have enrolled myself for post graduate programme in business management for this year. It will be mostly distance learning but I will have to travel to another city once in a while for a number of days. So having good help at home and for the baby is the only way I can accomplish this new target.

I know I will have a million balls up in the air and its going to need a lot of courage to handle all this but I’m ready. But I also know even if no else does that I can not do it without good helpers. So here’s hoping that the new year brings me better luck with my household help and also to everyone else who’s as dependent on them as I am.